To The Pacifier Monster

Every one knows that there is something that lives in the dryer that likes to take socks. You put a load in the washer with matching pairs of socks and when you take the load out, you have an odd number. The socks are gone, never to be found again. Now this doesn’t happen all the time, just when the sometime, I like to call him a monster, gets ‘hungry’.

Well, there is another kind of monster that lives in my house. He may live in your house too. He is the cousin of the sock monster. He is the pacifier monster.
I know he is around because I had purchased 8 pacifiers for each child (that is 24 pacifiers) and our numbers are dropping. Claire has 6 left, Jake has 5 and Quinn, the kid that likes the pacifier the most, has 2 left. I don’t know what is it about Quinn’s green pacifiers but apparently they are the tastiest.

Well, this taking of pacifiers needs to stop. See, we are about 2 months away from beginning the process of getting rid of the baby’s pacifiers and I refused to buy more.

Dear Mr Pacifier Monster,

I know you are there. I can’t see you but I know you are there, hiding up in the baby’s room. Waiting. Just waiting for the right moment to take those pacifiers and make them your lunch.

Your presences is the only way that I can explain the disappearance of the pacifiers that were there one minute when I put the kids to bed and then are gone when I check on them later.

I know that you are taking them some where that I cannot get to. I have looked all over the house for those pacifiers and they are gone. You must have a spot somewhere very sneaky, you silly monster.

But all this pacifier taking has gotten a bit out of hand. It was especially annoying last night when you took the pacifier that I had just given Quinn. It was 3AM and it was the second time that I was up with him. I do not like being disturbed from my sleep. Especially, when I had already been up to replace his pacifier once.

I know he would have fallen right back to sleep if you had not taken the pacifier right from his mouth. Were you really that hungry that you couldn’t have waited until he dropped it?

I am not mad, really, but please cut this out. How about this, I will stop looking for the pacifiers that you have stolen, I mean, found and you can keep them.
Just please stop taking the rest of them. When we are all done with them, I will leave them all just for you. And no one will take them from you again.

Thanks for your cooperation. I really appreciate it.

~A Mommy that really needs her sleep.

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