I could feel it ride up as I drove. It was like a string being pulled up tighter and tighter. I would need to do some serious adjusting as soon as I stopped the car.
I tried to shift in my seat, hoping that would make a difference, trying to find some relief but nothing was helping.
Since my rediscovery that I am a woman and not just a mom, that has meant my underwear choices have gone from cotton white table clothes to more dainty things like boy shorts, bikini briefs and thongs.
I like wearing these new sexy undies, they make me feel good. It’s just that sometimes the thongs… well, they take things a little too far up.
Despite what you may think, I do find thongs very comfortable to wear. I don’t feel like I have something constantly up my butt. Quiet the opposite, I feel like they ride up less. The number of wedgies I have to deal with has greatly decreased. They also make me feel sexy and pretty. And from what I can tell, the man of the house likes them too.
But there is always one troublesome one, one where the fit isn’t quiet right. There in lies the problem.
I pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car. The kids burst through the open doors like bees leaving the hive in search of pollen. Thankfully, a shiny rock on the ground caught their attention and I knew this was my moment.
I reached around to quickly fix my underwear but this thong had a mind of it’s own and apparently was trying to go up to my head via and internal route by way of my butt hole.
This was not going to be an easy, quick, sneaky wedgie pick. Nope, it was going to have to be more aggressive. I was going to have to go digging… maybe even lift my skirt up.
I scanned the parking lot for people.
The kids had moved their attention to a stick and a bug and where staying out of the way on coming cars.
I moved a little closer to the van and used the open drivers side door as a bit of a shield then I went in. I tried to get at my underwear through my skirt but it still wasn’t happening so I lifted up one side of my skirt and slide my hand to my ass. I bent over just a bit to grab the string that was in a place go string should go, found it with my finger, did a little wiggle and pulled that sucker out.
Oh, sweet relief.
The wedgie caused by the throng string trying to violate me in ways I was not happy about was finally fixed. My ass could relax.
Then since I was up there, I decided to fix my tank top by pulling it down which made me realize my boobs need adjusting and pushed up. I got all lady bits situated, smoothed my skirt down and turned to call the kids to me so that we could go into the store when I noticed the person sitting in the car watching me.
This person had just watched me wiggle, pull, tug, adjust, pick, prod and do things that should only be done in the privacy of one’s bathroom to my clothes and body.
I couldn’t think of anything to do so I just stared back at the person who’s eyes were as big as saucers after my little show.
You could cut the awkward with a knife.
“Mommy, can we go?!” one of the kids said breaking my trance and bringing me back to reality.
I nodded at the child and turned to walk into the store. I would feel my cheeks get red but then the hilarity of the whole situation hit me and I just laughed.
Maybe I’m not as ready for big girl sexy undies as I thought I was but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up. Although, in the meantime, that thong it totally being retired.