I have a problem.
My husband and my best friend have very similar names. Well, kind of similar in the fact that in both their names the first two letters are the same and in both their last names the first two letters are the same.
My husband is Jeff Mitchell and my bestie is Jen Mil… (not sure she wants her name on the Internet so I’ll protect her innocence from you all crazy stalkers)
See, not exactly the same but very close. It confuses me and has produced a some awkward situations.
These two people are the people that I text most so they are both on the top of my texting list. I have been know to send a bitchy text about my husband meant for my bestie to my husband. Or a sexy text meant for my husband to my bestie. Or worse a text about how I want to jump the hot construction worker that just winked at me meant for my bestie but sent to my husband.
It’s all good. Jeff will just text me back saying, “Are you sure you wanted this to go to me?”
I can almost see the eye roll through the phone.
Another way I get confused is that by their responses. Since I am constantly texting these two, I will often not pay close enough attention to the sender.
If I just sent Jeff a text and then my phone beeps with a new text message I just assume it’s from him when a lot of times it’s actually from Jen.
This just happened recently.
I had texted Jeff something about something he needed to do after work for the kids. I don’t remember specifically but probably something along the lines of ‘Hey dude. Don’t be a dumbass and forget to pick up our kids’ or ‘Can you get milk because our kids guzzle it by the gallon daily and we really need a cow’.
I hit send and then went back to scrolling through Facebook to pass the time.
As I was scrolling a text banner flashed across the top of my iPhone meaning I had a new text message. I glanced up, quickly saw a ‘Je’ and then part of the message that said “my dress keeps riding up when I sit down…”
Not exactly the message one would get from their husband but my brain processed it and I said to myself, “Huh, I don’t remember Jeff wearing a dress this morning. I wonder which dress of my dresses Jeff borrowed to wear to work?”
I paused for a moment.
This is didn’t make sense. I probably needed to read the whole message. I felt like I was missing something. Something was off. I wasn’t getting the whole picture.
I closed the app I was using and opened my text message.
“My dress is riding up when I sit down and my vagina is acting like a suction cup on the stool.”
Well now this was weird. I know my husband does not have a vagina. I checked that this morning. So I looked more carefully at the message and that’s when I realized, it was my bestie sending me the text and not my husband.
Glad, I cleared that one up because I really didn’t want to share my dresses with Jeff. He just doesn’t have the boobs to make them look good.