Dear Biped Human,
It is high time that I wrote you this letter. We need to have a discussion about what has been going on in this house.
First, it was just me. I was the only other living thing in the house with you two. I was fed regularly. I always had a lap to sit on. I was given treats and toys. Life was good.
Then you brought another four legged feline into the house. I was pissed at first. How could you? I was the king of this castle. But then little Lucy, annoying as she was always biting on my ears and playing with my tail, grew on me. I liked her around. She was my friend. It made me sad when she just went away but I recovered. I was happy that once again the castle was mine or so I thought.
There was something going on with you two. You bipeds were multiplying. First it was one young one and then it was three. Three at one time. Are you trying to give me a nervous kitty break down?
I could tolerate the one young offspring. He was fine. I was able to out run him and hide but now, now there are more and they are everywhere.
You say that they just love me but I ask you, are pulling on my tail, smacking me in the face and poking my butt signs of love? I think not. And also since these offspring have come into the house my time on my favorite human chair has greatly decreased. In fact it is down right nonexistent.
Now I have tolerated all this very well, if I do say so myself. I don’t bite the offspring often and when I do, they really, really deserved it. I no longer sleep on the couch so that they can use it for jumping and I even share my food with them, upon occasion.
But the other day, I heard of talk that I will not tolerate. There is no way that I am going to let you bring a filthy DOG into this house. Just let all those decapitated mice and squirrels I leave for you on the porch be your warning. Do we understand each other.
Good. Now come over and pet me.
Your Loving Cat,
Mama Kat gave him permission.
This was for a Writer’s Workshop prompt after all.