Bubble Gum Will Not Stay in Your System for Seven Years

I really, really like Halloween. It is a fun holiday. But what I like most about it is that the candy that it produces is the prefect ammunition for getting the kids to eat all of their supper.

You see, when the kids push away their plates and refuse to eat, Jeff or I will ask a simple question of them.

“Do you want to have a treat?”

Then when they nod their little heads ‘yes’ with great anticipation, we add the one and only condition.

“Well, if you want a treat then you need to eat your supper.”

There usually is still some protesting and grumbling but then we bring out the bag and set it on the table. That usually is enough for them to eat.

Once they have eaten, the bag full of Halloween candy goodness is passed around and each child has his or her pick.

This conversation took place between Jeff and I during one of these candy passing sessions.

“You can’t give Quinn a piece of bubble gum,” I whined.

“Why?” Jeff answered me. “Are you afraid that after he chews it, he will swallow it?”

“Well, no,” I said unsure of myself, “Not really.”

“Because it will not stay in his intestines for seven years,” Jeff said with a cockiness in his voice.

I just looked at him and waited. Trying to give him my most annoyed look.

“I know this because once when I was at Cub Scout Camp, I chewed and swallowed piece after piece after piece after piece of bubble gum and when I got home, I pooped a rather large poop that was pink with brown swirled through it. So you don’t have to worry about it staying in his system for seven years. It won’t even stay for seven days.”

All I could do was laugh until I cried and watch Quinn chew and then swallow his piece of bubble gum.


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