Dear Jeff

I am having a hard time finding the words to say the things that I want to say. In fact, this is the fourth time that I have tried to write this.

I just feel like there are not words that to justice to describing my feeling about you, our life together and our marriage. They all seem to fail in comparison.

These past seven years, that have been our marriage, have been a journey to say the least. There have been good times and bad times, great joys, growing pains and challenges. And we still have a lifetime ahead of us.

It just feels like saying, ‘I love you’, doesn’t say enough about how much we have been through, about how supportive you have been and continue to be, and about how I feel about you.

But it is all I have so… I love you. I love you will all my heart, every fiber of my being. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else; through the good times and the bad, through sickness and health, through rich or poor and even through death.

I love you. Happy Anniversary.

******
In honor of our Anniversary, I would like to once again share the story of how our love first started. This is my true love story, enjoy.

I was young when we met, just 17 years old. I had never had a serious boyfriend or any boyfriend for that matter. We had been dating for a few months and I remember feeling like I really didn’t know what I was doing.

I was spending all this time with this boy. I liked being with him. I thought about him all the time. My heart would do a little flutter every time we talked. I liked the way he made me feel. I was so special in his eyes. I just couldn’t get enough of him. He was like a drug and I wanted more and more. But I did not know what it was like to be in love. Was this it? Was I in love with this boy? People said that I was too young to know love. It was just a crush. But I knew in my heart that there was more but I didn’t yet know what to call it.

It was a warm, stormy, Saturday evening I was given permission to go over to Jeff’s house. There wasn’t much to do because the storm knocked out the power. So we walked. We walked hand in hand as the wind whirled up around us.

One of the things that I liked best about this boy was that we didn’t need to say much. He just knew me. I used to always ask, “How do you know me so well?” He would reply, “You are an open book, a book that I like reading. I want to know everything about you.”

Our walking led us to a friend’s house where a bunch of other people had gathered. We settled on the couch, just holding each other surrounded by candles. Even though, there were people around to me it was just us. I lay my head on his chest and listen to the steady beat of his heart. I liked how I fit into his arms. I like this spot. I just felt right.

Quiet was all around us. Neither of us spoke for what seemed like hours but that didn’t matter. There was no place in the world that I wanted to be but right there in his arms for the rest of my life.

Then he took a deep breath and spoke, “I think I love you.”

I raised up my head and looked into his eyes. My head was spinning. My thoughts were racing. My heart was pounding. I did not know what to say or do.

He looked into my eyes, “Thats all right. You don’t have to say anything. Not until you are ready.” He brushed my hair away from my face and ever so tenderly kissed my lips.

Words escaped me. My body was frozen. All I could do was let them moment carry me and hope that this feeling would never end.

Honestly, I don’t remember much of the rest of the night until we were saying good night at his house.

We were standing in the hallway right next to the door that I had to leave through, the door that would separate us again. Neither of us knew when we would be together again.

He looked at me, deep into my eyes and said, “Yes, I really do love you.”
I felt weak in the knees. My head, again, was spinning. Nothing in the world mattered expect us, right there in that moment.

He held me tightly and pushed me against the wall. He leaned into me and kissed me. Not just any kiss, but the most passionate, deep, true, kiss that I have ever had in my life. I felt it through my whole body and down to my toes. It was so much more than just a kiss. It was the kiss of true love.

Breathless, I whispered, “I love you, too.”

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