I have been a little off.
Every time I think about tomorrow, I get little pangs of anxiety.
My brain tells me that everything will be fine. It will be simple and quick, no need for worry or fuss.
But try and tell that to my heart. My heart is saying is a whole other story.
My heart is aching. My heart is full of fear.
My baby is having surgery.
It needs to happens.
It is a good thing that is going to happen.
But I can’t help but worry. I feel kind of silly for worrying. There are many parents out there with terminally ill and very sick children that have been through so much more than I can ever imagine. Their daily battles are mind boggling and gut wrenching. My worries about sometime so small and simple seems silly and a bit of an over-kill.
But, still I worry.
Every time I look at him, I just want to cuddle him in my arms and never let go.
He will not understand tomorrow.
It will be scary for him.
Many strangers in a place he does not know.
And they will put him totally to sleep.
Will he wake up?
Silly worries, I know.
But I can’t help it.
I am his Mom and he is my Baby.