Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be an all-you-can-eat buffet? I wonder what it would be like to be picked at and eaten off constantly with no one stopping to say thank you or giving you the time of day? What would it feel like to have people constantly drooling over?
Well, let me just say that I now have an inkling of what an all-you-can eat buffet feels like. I know this feeling because I have become an all-you-can-eat buffet to the mosquitoes.
I got over 15 bites in one night on one leg, while I was sleeping in my own bed. With that many bites, you would have thought I was camping or something.
We live in the woods so I am prepared for dealing with mosquitoes. It is just a given, that is why I wear mosquito replant in place of body spray. I bath the kids in it before we go out and play. We were long pants and jackets until it is just too hot to do so.
The mosquitoes will usually be bad for a couple of weeks and then stop, totally doable. But this year is different.
When spring hit, they didn’t come. When the weather got warm they didn’t come. I began to think that maybe this year would be different. I started to think it would be a light year.
But boy was I wrong. Lets just say that they are making up for lost time.
We go outside and we get swarmed. Do you remember those cartoon with the huge swarms chasing people? Well, that is happening here. They are vicious. They take no prisoners. They are out for blood, literally.
I feel so bad for the kids. Even with the replant on, it looks like they have chicken pox. Claire is covered in so many welts that I think people are starting to question my parenting.
I see them ogling my plump white thighs. I know they are laughing at me as the inflict there itchiness. I hear them planning their attack as they buzz by. And I feel their pain and itch as they have turned my legs into an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Maybe this is their revenge for me trying to single-handedly trying to wipe out their population. I am one mean clapping, killing mosquito machine.
Something must be done.
Their bites are just so darn itchy it makes me crazy. Perhaps if we could come to a compromise. I would let them bite me if they made their bites not so itchy, then maybe we could get along.
Oh, who am I kidding? All-you-can-eat buffet open for business.